Sometimes we all go through things, really painful things. At times we are overcome by the magnitude of the pain we have gone through and it takes not only a emotional tole on us but a mental one as well.
We all are compelled to play the victim card sometimes expecially if we feel hard done by, it becomes easy to point the finger and shift the blame. After doing a carfule assessment of myself I have seen just how damaging playing the victim card can become, telling yourself that you are not to blame is easy and excuses you from assuming responsibility. But I regard it as a sign of immaturity, most things that happen to us are self inflicted wonds. Being to trusting and open with people we barely know, being constantly negative, entering into a relationship we know God has told us to avoid. These are all more straightforward and much easier to recognize, but there are more ways that are evident of how we constantly only have ourselves to blame. Once we play the victim card we don’t easily learn from our hurdles in life, we walk around thinking the world owes us something, that is why most people that move on from one relationship to the next constantly end up hurt again and again, sure you got hurt and as perfect as you may have thought you may have been, you really spent need to spend time assessing your role in the situation. Yes you have a job that does not pay that well but is that the only reason you run out of cash easily, or is it because you have not learned to live based on what you can afford could it be that you do not know how to handle money. You see, being the victim prevents us from seeing our role in the situation and often times this prevents us from growing into who God wants us to become. There is profound truth in the statement that says “every hurdle is a learning opportunity” . Adam shifts the blame to Eve after he eats of the tree of life, what if he could have merely accepted the blame and admitted the role he played in sinning, could God have given them a lighter sentence different then sending them out of the garden? We will never know will we, simply because he shifted the blame. Sometime you need to assume the part you played in the situation, assess what you did wrong carefully.
When professional football teams lose a match they don’t spend time worrying about what the other team did, each players role on the losing end gets assessesed and is corrected accordingly, the good and the bad are laid out before him and he is confronted with facts. This brings me to the point of having people around you that will not butter up things, but someone that will tell you of your role and how you could have better handled a misfortune or a situation you encountered, these type of people are hard to find but if you find one be thankful they can teach you a lot more than you think.
Sometimes we so busy playing victim that we don’t know how to be victors 😱. Stop looking for self pity God shouted in my ear a couple of months ago grow up now before you shrink and drown in depression. It’s high time we stop looking around for people and circumstances to blame, grow up and lead your mind away from the pity parties stop looking for people to validate your emotions.
I want you to reflect and think about everything that has happened in your life expecially the bad card you felt you have been delt, if you find your faults and how you could have delt with them better, you my friend are one step closer to being a victor and not a victim.
By:
Riaan Afrikaner
